Elusive Sleep...and the Quest to Find It

What does one do when sleep eludes them? 

Lie there awake calculating and re-calculating time slept, hours until you must be up for work, minutes since you last checked all of the above as if participating in some horrible math lesson? 

I used to write stories in my head.  I would lie there, eyes closed, and write stories that I would swear I would remember the next day.  They were spectacular at times in scope and imagination.  I often fancied myself the next Karen Marie Moning, going over and over every detail only to have the curse of fatigue and of ‘lack of sleep’ rob me of the things I thought might be fascinating to others mere hours later!

Due to health concerns, I often find myself awake at 3:00 a.m.  There isn't much I can do about it, but I did want to try to learn to cope and what better way to cope in the middle of the night than to pray at that time. 

I begin by thanking God for the wonders in my life.  I've many!  I then like to thank Him for His love and guidance and shortly I find myself asking Him for the desires of my heart.  My desires aren't really many, when it comes right down to it. 

I ask God to help Left Brain find work and happiness in his occupation. 

I ask God to help us find a way to be married and live our happily ever after.

I ask God to bless my eldest and his little clan.  Give them contentment and peace.

I ask God to be with my eldest’s future spouse, to keep her safe and bring her to our family happily.

I ask God to be with youngest.  To ease the burden of anger and hatred he holds in his heart.

These things are not the only things I ask my God for, but these, again, are my heart’s desire.  If you only have the faith of a mustard seed (and I’ve got an avocado seed’s worth, so that is a lot!) our Bible says, God will hear your heart.  I actually call these my spotlight prayers.  God really sees spotlight prayers (one’s directly from the heart), I always believe, more than casual flashlight prayers.

I’ve discovered something in deciding to spend that time in prayer and supplication instead of writing fantasies I’ll never remember, no matter how much money I’d make from their fabulousness.  I've discovered that I always make it through the prayer portion of thankfulness to my God.  I've discovered that 9 times out of 10, however, I will fall asleep during the portion of my prayers where I ask God for those things that are most in my heart.  I think that is because God knows those things already.  They are in my heart, and my God is everywhere…especially in my heart.  He knows what I need and though it may not end up being in my time frame, God will supply.

Here’s to a good night’s sleep, and if not, some time with God.  A very good thing, indeed.