Buying a new home is rife with all sorts of emotional
drain! Both good and bad.
Left Brain and I are currently in the process of purchasing
a home in my home county. YAY!
I have lived most of my life in this county and know it like
the back of my hand. I love the rural
life. When I left this county I moved
into a place with a friend that was crowded and close and I knew then that I
could adapt. I do like that about
myself, but what I also found was that, while all the neighbors were kind and
friendly, they were too close.
I then moved in with Left Brain in a big, beautiful home in
a subdivision of sorts, but still, the nosy neighbor behind us was often found
looking out her slider door doing a little recon for Left Brain’s ex-wife. No thanks. My contrarian ways wanted me to “give them
something to talk about,” and had my friends been closer, we would have!
We next moved into an even closer neighborhood, but in all
honesty, I loved that little house and I loved the neighbors. ALL of them keepers. That makes a difference, let me tell you, the
neighbors. I was sad to say goodbye to
them. I still think of them.
We sold that house so quickly that in our move back to my
home state we had to rent a condo for 12 months to accommodate all our stuff
(note to Left Brain, notice the use of OUR and STUFF, as opposed to Left Brain’s
junk) and our dogs. I like the
condo. Except for the kitchen which is
way too small…it is open and airy and other than the crazy guy that walks in
the road looking for cigarette butts to collect and roll his own, and his dog
hating mother, the neighbors are pretty cool.
It is a dog place so most people are indeed dog lovers.
That year is coming to end so off we go to find a
house. Since my place of employment is a
horrible drive (not in distance but in traffic) we had thought to get me closer
to work. We started out looking in places
we knew we could afford and quickly found … for the money we had to spend, the
houses were old, small and not in neighborhoods we liked.
And what is it with people?
When I put our home up for sale, you could have gone in and come out of
it with a bleach high (I clean with bleach).
Those floors were super clean and everything was in its place.
These houses…not so much.
Some had black mold, some had addition after addition with
ceiling leaks in the places where old joined with new. Some were terribly small and we’d have had to
knock out walls to accommodate our king sized bed.
One house stands out as the all-time winner for ICK
factor. We walk in to be met by three
large cats. These cats had peed on the
hardwood, you could see the stains…but when we got upstairs, we see one of the
largest Rubbermaid bins I've ever seen, with 1 foot of litter in it. Seems the family just cleaned out the cat,
erm…solid waste (OK cat turds) and just dumped new litter over the wet …when
their eyebrows singed. It was a cat
waste trough!
My friend informed me we’d know when we found our house,
that we’d walk in and the house would tell us.
She was right. Deciding that it
may be better to make that horrid drive if I get to come home to a
mini-paradise was easy. I believe (at
this point) I will be happier making the drive and living where I am happy and
safe as opposed to living where I am not happy, nor particularly safe, while
having a 20 minute easy commute.
We're house hunting. Love where you live, or love your commute is a concern, but the biggest concern is the emotional drain of buying a home.
Paperwork and then more paperwork, fear that it won’t go
through, dread that something will go wrong, all of the things one needs to buy
for their new home. It is a lot to take
on.
I understand the need for mortgage places to do it this,
however. After the Clinton years of
EVERYONE deserves a home (sounds kind of like EVERYONE deserves healthcare that
is being preached now, wonder if the outcome will be the same) and the plethora
of foreclosures that followed it is a must.
It is a painful look at your financials though.
With both of us just starting out together after long
marriages and divorce we find ourselves in our 50s with the prospect of not
having a home paid off by the time we are super aged. Yep, that’s a huge scary thing for me. My health isn't conducive to working until
I’m 80.
I can clearly see the financial pluses to home ownership,
but I see a huge savings hit we are taking too.
(see that ying and yang?) I see
the benefit in equity and I see the benefit in owning something of your own
(does one truly own a home while still managing a mortgage though) you know what I mean.
I feel like this place will bring us both much joy. And that lifts me.
So yep, the new Realtor told us to trust her. We did.
We found a forever home. One we
can live happily in as age advances.
Everything on one floor, low maintenance exterior, acreage… and a
LAKE!
But I think what I've learned from all of the above is this…
Worrying about what you can’t control will kill you AFTER it
robs you of joy.
If you don’t take a step of faith, realizing your God is
bigger than anything life can toss at you, you’ll regret it or learn to live
with less joy and hope.
Mortgage companies should put out a brochure that basically
says, “we will make your life a living Hades for 1 month and then we will own
your soul for 30 years.
But more than anything else, I've learned that life is truly
a ride of ups and downs. Drops and
rebounds. What is important is to learn
from all of that, and to learn it alongside someone worth learning it all
with. Someone who will laugh at you and
with you for your sillinesses, who will calm you when the frets take over, who
will remind you that letting go and letting God is the only way to travel.
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