~Therories~

Through the years I've come up with, or agreed with, a few theories.  Some pretty valid, or so it seems.

One theory is in regard to the number of handicapped parking spots and how they correlate to the plethora of Jimmy Johns restaurants in this state (Illinois).

If you should pull into any mall in the not-so-great State of Illinois you will notice the superfluous amount of handicapped parking spots.  One could be led to believe that 1/16th of the state was in some sort of handicapped situation if they took the time to contemplate the number of spots dedicated to those with handicaps.  I sometimes wonder (in jest...or is it???) that they are somehow allied with the number of Jimmy Johns here.

Ok, so Illinois is the "home" of Jimmy Johns (or so I've been told by Left Brain), and so perhaps they SHOULD have more of their establishments in this state than anywhere else, but I kid you not....there is one on every other corner.

Therefore...the plethora of handicapped spots, when considered with the plentitude of Jimmy Johns restaurants, may make one consider that they are mutually or reciprocally related!

Add to this theory that when I first became employed in this state, I worked with two people who ate a lot of Jimmy Johns and had handicapped license plates.  Coincidence?  I think not!

This leads me to a certain theory on men, broken chromosomes, and how that broken things don't often work right.

I have a phone charger in my car.  The coating on the outside of the wires is broken, exposing the wires.  Because of this it has a short.  It won't charge the phone unless I'm holding the wires jusssst right.  It is broken, it works if held and coddled, but it has to be held in just the right way.

It is also this way with men.  Could it be the broken chromosome they sport?  Women have two X chromosomes.  Men have one X and one Y.  The Y however, isn't really a Y, but a broken X.  So you see, men have something in their DNA...the foundation of their being, that is broken!

Left Brain informed me, just this morning, that if it is of little consequence to him, or little importance, he won't pay attention to it or remember it.  This proclamation was no news to me.  In fact, I had to stifle the urge to say "Yes, Captain Obvious, tell me something I don't know."

Just this past weekend, while at a hotel, I asked if he had mentioned to the desk clerk that we have an AARP card, and should get a discount.  I asked if he kept his in his wallet (as I do, for such occasions) and was informed by him that he, in fact, never received an AARP card.  That only I had one. 

When I applied for the AARP card, I put both our names down, and we signed up as a joint account.  Left Brain might not remember that, I'll give him that one, as *I* am the one who sent off for the things.  However...when the cards arrived, Left Brain's name was spelled so wrong it was laughable.  We had a long conversation about how we may need to call the good, altho either typographically or spelling challenged folks of AARP to have a new card sent.

That all being said, when Left Brain informed me that he did not remember getting a card, I was kerflumoxed.  We had a discussion on it.

So...much like my broken phone charger I had to take him through it...jussssst right to get it to work. :)

"Left Brain, remember when the card came and we had that discussion on your name being spelled horribly?"  "Yes," Left Brain replies, "but I thought my card was just one of those offer things that come in the mail." 

I felt like maybe the short had either come loose or broken completley.  I wanted to say, "you poor shorted being, do you not think that if it had only been an offer I'd have mentioned we may need to call them and have another sent out with the correct spelling????"  The bad thing about broken things that have to be held jussst right to get them to work, if you over work them, they'll break totally.  So I let it go.

It still befuddles me that should a connection in regard to sports, military, or some yawn producing factoid should come to be, that connection is true and strong.

Kind of like that blasted phone charging cord.  There are times I plug that sucker in and it just WORKS! 

*sigh*

I do believe both theories are valid, further investigation into both...is ongoing :)