~Therories~

Through the years I've come up with, or agreed with, a few theories.  Some pretty valid, or so it seems.

One theory is in regard to the number of handicapped parking spots and how they correlate to the plethora of Jimmy Johns restaurants in this state (Illinois).

If you should pull into any mall in the not-so-great State of Illinois you will notice the superfluous amount of handicapped parking spots.  One could be led to believe that 1/16th of the state was in some sort of handicapped situation if they took the time to contemplate the number of spots dedicated to those with handicaps.  I sometimes wonder (in jest...or is it???) that they are somehow allied with the number of Jimmy Johns here.

Ok, so Illinois is the "home" of Jimmy Johns (or so I've been told by Left Brain), and so perhaps they SHOULD have more of their establishments in this state than anywhere else, but I kid you not....there is one on every other corner.

Therefore...the plethora of handicapped spots, when considered with the plentitude of Jimmy Johns restaurants, may make one consider that they are mutually or reciprocally related!

Add to this theory that when I first became employed in this state, I worked with two people who ate a lot of Jimmy Johns and had handicapped license plates.  Coincidence?  I think not!

This leads me to a certain theory on men, broken chromosomes, and how that broken things don't often work right.

I have a phone charger in my car.  The coating on the outside of the wires is broken, exposing the wires.  Because of this it has a short.  It won't charge the phone unless I'm holding the wires jusssst right.  It is broken, it works if held and coddled, but it has to be held in just the right way.

It is also this way with men.  Could it be the broken chromosome they sport?  Women have two X chromosomes.  Men have one X and one Y.  The Y however, isn't really a Y, but a broken X.  So you see, men have something in their DNA...the foundation of their being, that is broken!

Left Brain informed me, just this morning, that if it is of little consequence to him, or little importance, he won't pay attention to it or remember it.  This proclamation was no news to me.  In fact, I had to stifle the urge to say "Yes, Captain Obvious, tell me something I don't know."

Just this past weekend, while at a hotel, I asked if he had mentioned to the desk clerk that we have an AARP card, and should get a discount.  I asked if he kept his in his wallet (as I do, for such occasions) and was informed by him that he, in fact, never received an AARP card.  That only I had one. 

When I applied for the AARP card, I put both our names down, and we signed up as a joint account.  Left Brain might not remember that, I'll give him that one, as *I* am the one who sent off for the things.  However...when the cards arrived, Left Brain's name was spelled so wrong it was laughable.  We had a long conversation about how we may need to call the good, altho either typographically or spelling challenged folks of AARP to have a new card sent.

That all being said, when Left Brain informed me that he did not remember getting a card, I was kerflumoxed.  We had a discussion on it.

So...much like my broken phone charger I had to take him through it...jussssst right to get it to work. :)

"Left Brain, remember when the card came and we had that discussion on your name being spelled horribly?"  "Yes," Left Brain replies, "but I thought my card was just one of those offer things that come in the mail." 

I felt like maybe the short had either come loose or broken completley.  I wanted to say, "you poor shorted being, do you not think that if it had only been an offer I'd have mentioned we may need to call them and have another sent out with the correct spelling????"  The bad thing about broken things that have to be held jussst right to get them to work, if you over work them, they'll break totally.  So I let it go.

It still befuddles me that should a connection in regard to sports, military, or some yawn producing factoid should come to be, that connection is true and strong.

Kind of like that blasted phone charging cord.  There are times I plug that sucker in and it just WORKS! 

*sigh*

I do believe both theories are valid, further investigation into both...is ongoing :)

Educated vs. Not so Much

When I first met Left Brain I thought to myself, "Karen, this man is nothing like anyone you have ever met. For one thing he is brilliant, educated and you, my dear, are neither of those things.  He is going to be bored with you and it isn't going to take long for him to get that way."

Left Brain, you see, is one of those people who not only went out and worked hard for his eduation, he LOVED getting the education.  My son is very intelligent, super intelligent as a matter of fact, he obtained his education, but he hated the process.  He did it because it was necessary.  Left Brain not only pursued his educaiton but actually LOVED the process!

For myself, when I asked my mother about going to college (I had HUGE dreams of being a physical therapist, and truth be told, I'd have been a great one), she informed me that I had no business in college.  That I'd not finish  nor would I succeed.  Yep, Mom always had "the love" for me.  When I asked my dad about it, he said, "the only thing you'll find in college is your M R S degree, and you can do that without spending a lot of money."  Yay Dad, way to encourage your kid.

I truly wanted to go to college, but as no one in my family had been to college, I actually knew NO ONE who had, and since the councelors at Belleville High School sucked at their job, I had no clue how to approach such a venture...I dropped that dream.

In retrospect I wish I had looked into it more closely.  I love all things to do with medicine, seem to have a knack for remembering all manner of little details about anatomy, mechanics and biology of the human body.  Not only that, I LOVE the process of learning about them. 

I don't think I'm ignorant.  Far from it.  I think I am fairly well read, I try to keep up on current events, I love politics.  I enjoy learning new artistic avenues to walk, knit, or paint down.  I find however, that once I conquer something, I quickly bore of it.  Such is the life of a right brained person.  I do sometimes wonder how Left Brain puts up with me though.  He has to be bored at times.

Left Brain says there is a difference between being educated and being smart.  He feels I am smart, but just wasn't afforded the opportunity for more education.  After thinking about that, he's quite right.  I know I test high on intelligence tests, and love learning.  I wonder what I could have done had I just had some encouragement and help. 

All that being said, I don't even near his educational level and don't even try.  He's smart.  Wicked brilliant in fact.  He would poo-poo that, but I know what I know, and I know that man is not only educated, but intelligent.

He will often go off on a tangent about something that fascinates him...I listen and sometimes I smile in understanding.  Other times, however, I sit there and think about him as he talks.  About how his brain works, about how it sorts information and presents it.  It isn't that I am not interested in what he is saying as much as it is my intrigue at how such a man could find me, the under-educated, remotely interesting.

I used to do a little self-soothing on this topic by thinking "Heh, K...Einstein didn't marry someone brilliant and they did just fine."  I did a little research though and upon learning that his first wife (Mileva) was the only female student physics major at the Polytechnic in Zurich...well, that blew that one out of the water.  To learn that he married his second wife (Elsa) his cousin and that the main attraction to her...her cooking...ugh, not so comforting.  That he also felt grateful to her because she had taken care of him when he was ill with stomach problems and that there was no passion between them...double ugh.  No more self-soothing there.

But, Mr. Left Brain and Ms. Right Brain seem to get on ok.  I poke him too much, I get too much enjoyment out of it, and don't even know why.  I am trying to curb that a little.  I try to keep us busy and life interesting, and with or without extra education, I think we do just fine :)

Alas...I Was Born Sans the Sports Crapola Gene

I have quite a few ailments that fall into the autoimmune category.  Some pretty ugly, some not so much.

We'll address those perhaps down the line, but for today I would like to address my being born with a handicap.  I was born without the Sport Crapola Gene.

As handicaps go it isn't a bad one, in fact, in my particular instance it is a case of not missing what you never had.

That being said...I like to go to sporting events.  I like to go for the music and people watching, the camaraderie and the energy.   One recent aspect of sporting events that really appeals to me is watching Left Brain strike up bromances with his fellow sportaholics.  He is always laughing at me for the way people I have never met will come to me and strike up a convo like we were long lost friends meeting up for the first time in a few years, and yet...get him in a sports crapola situation and he turns into Chatty Cathy himself! 

IF I had a child, sibling, relative, or friend of any sort playing the sport I can get caught up in it.  This makes sense to me.  I love that person...their success is a happiness in my score book.  I want to see them do well, I want to see them have fun, I want to see them with their friends/collegues, and I want to enjoy their enjoyment.

I can go to soccer practice for Caybob and Hanners and spend a good two hours yelling and cheering for them.  Seeing them excel and their joy in their success...HOMERUN for Grammy! 

What I don't understand is how people (and men especially) can get caught up in something that:
a) in the long run means NOTHING
b) has nothing to actually do with them or anyone they personally know
c) makes them scream or yell at the television like they are actually a part of the program
d) causes them much disappointment and duress when their team of choice stinks or perpetually loses
e) has them adopting players.  "That's my boy."  Really???  Your boy?  Does your wife know?
f) makes them join "fantasy" teams

*looks up...I think that about covers it*

Left Brain is very good to put up with my  handicap and has actually given up some of the fix of watching sports...he even gamely pretends to watch Dancing With the Stars with me.  Left Brain is a very good man...even if sports testosterone tears through his veins he valiantly soldiers on, fighting it for me. His noggin is full of useless sport trivia, and he can spout it at the drop of a hat. 

I can say to him, "Left Brain, tomorrow I think we should run to Costco for dog food," and he'll not remember that comment ever being uttered.  He can, however, remember how many times Joe Blow from the '85 Dodgers got splinters in his keister from sitting the bench for five consecutive games, due to some blow up that he had with John Doe in a game with the Braves on a sunny day, with a temp of 58 degrees, and a SW wind at 3 miles per hour, in June! 

I don't care that Left Brain is so into it.  In fact, I like that he has something that  makes his heart race and blood pump, other than me.  I like to watch him throw his arms around and yell at the people on the screen.  I smile sweetly when he talks about snake drafts and has a bromance at a game.  When I go down to the man cave and see the superfluous amount of sports crappola books that line bookshelves I get a warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach that he has so much of what he loves about him (ok, maybe that isn't the reason I feel that when I see them, but ... whatever).

He can try to explain it all he wants.  Others have tried, others have failed. 

What truly makes me chuckle is when he tries to liken it to ... oh...my love of shoes.  I find that argument illogical and one he will forever lose because one does need to have shoes.  Do they  need as many as I do?  Probably  not, but then again they are needed. 

So while he sits, contemplating his losses on his Fantasy Football League (that term even makes me grin), and while he checks scores on the teams he loves...I'll just sit beside him, browsing shoe sales and thinking..."I love him as is, and maybe it isn't me that has the handicap...maybe it is HIM!"

Soul Food

If you were to look up the definition of soul food you'd likely find the following as an example:

soul food

Noun:

Traditional southern African-American food.

I'd like to tell you about a few of the things that I consider soul food. Granted none of them meet the deifiniton standards of the description above, but they are things worth sharing and talking about!

soul food

Noun:          Something that fills you with peace, joy, love, energy, exuberance, happiness, contentment.

#1 ~ My grandbabies. 

 Ok, they are no longer actually babies but for their Grammy (me) it matters not if they are 3 or 30...forevermore they will be my babies.  Nothing quite fills my soul like time spent with them.  I'd always heard that old line "if I had known how fun grandchildren were, I'd have had them first" and thought before their advent ... "what a horrible thing to say.  What about your kids?"  Well, get yourself a couple grandchildren and you'll know it is true.  You see them and this rush of love infuses you, it is overwhelming in its scope and intensity.

Their laughter, their little comments, the things they share, the things that are important to them are the things that fill me.  I've decided to begin keeping a journal of some of the things they've said because a time will come when I will be gone, and they will have forgotten those things, and they are too priceless not to take time to keep.  I actually breathe better, and happier when they are in anywhere near.  My hope is with my marriage I'll be able to see them more often.

Caybob...I am so bonded, heart and soul to this boy that Left Brain (my man) swears I love Caybob more than him.  That is not true in the slightest.  I love them differently.  I love them both fiercely though :)  Caybob says things that make me smile, but all he has to do is BE and my life is better.  He's brilliant and quirky...interesting and interested.  His love of learning is something that keeps me in awe of him.  His grin, makes my heart leap.  Soul food indeed.

Hanners...I lived on planet penis so long I seriously didn't know what I'd do with a girl in my world.  Then I began to learn.  She's a beauty.  She truly is.  She's fiery and ornery, strong and brave.  She's got a spark that makes me so very proud.  This little girl is going to be a looker and a pistol and I don't think my son has any idea what awaits him with this one.  Her laughter, her precocious ways, her lack of fear and her love and ease with people...sigh, she's just delightful.  I love her so much it hurts me not to see her regularly.  Soul food with a side of ornery...love it.  *my family says she is a mini-me...oh how that pleases me too*

They are the appetizers of my brand of soul food...and what a way to start a good soul food meal!

#2 ~ Love

Granted there are all kinds of love, but today I'm going to talk about my soul food love of choice.

GRAND LOVE

What is Grand Love?  Grand Love is a love that makes you stronger, makes you happy, makes you feel content and that wonderful feeling of things being "right."  Grand Love says "we can, you can, I can."  All things are possible with Grand Love because nothing is impossible with it. 

Left Brain is my Grand Love.  Through his love I see things I never saw as possible before...seemingly possible all of a sudden.  Through his love I am strong, and even in my fear, 1 minute held in his arms and against him gives me a peace I cannot describe.  It infuses me with contentment and peace, joy and warmth.

I've told my sisters this and it is so true, with him...I'm free to just be myself.  Nothing else is expected or desired.  Do you know how freeing that is?  How strong that makes one?  I didn't until  now.  He's given me the strength to face some things that I may not have wanted to face before, ugly, scary things ... and I never have to do it alone.  He's always there.  I can just let go and fly or fall...he'll cheer me as I fly, he'll catch me if I fall.

Never have two people been more different than Left Brain and myself.  He cerebral, huge vocabulary, Spanish loving, me more artsy and right brained.  Never have two people been more blessed.  We both know this.  Sure we have our differences, but through Grand Love...well all things are possible, because again, nothing is impossible!

I cannot wait to share my "forever" with this lovely, charming, quirky human being.  One who is so smart I was afraid to go out with him for fear that he would be bored to tears with me in moments.  One who makes me laugh like no other.  One who holds me in the night when fear overwhelms me and never complains.  One who goes to dance class with me, and doesn't mind my laughter when things get all funked up.  One who will sit with me, fight for me, long for me, and be mine forever.

How blessed are those that find Grand Love.

I won life's lotto when he walked into my life.  I stepped out of a car one day came around the corner, saw him and my life changed...for the WAY better.   Grand Love...it's the dessert of soul food, you can never get enough.  I love you Tony.

#3 ~ Tree Tunnels

I've always had a love of trees.  My father loved trees, maybe I love them due to his love of them, or maybe it is something we can inherit, but I love them.  When they come in the form of tree tunnels, my heart slows, my soul sighs, and my world becomes peaceful. 

When my boys were little we'd often travel a stretch of road that had a long tree tunnel.  In the summer it was a lane of life, green, brilliant and stunning. It closed you in and away from the world in the most beautiful way.  In the fall, the colors beautiful and vibrant, your world still shut away but you were cocooned in color, and all my favorite colors.  In the winter, tree tunnels would be made up of snowy lanes, trees with their leaves all gone but now frosted in a gorgeous white.  No one can paint a picture like our God can, and when it comes to tree tunnels, this girl things He outdid himself.

At points in a tree tunnel the peace and warmth I felt would fill me so much that I'd sigh.  My youngest son began calling them 'relaxing roads' because they made his "mama-girl" sigh and relax. 

I'm so thankful for tree tunnels and the spiritual soul food they provide.

#4 ~ Bodies of Water

I don't care if it is a creek, a river, a lake or an ocean, my heart is pleased most when I am near a body of water.  If I believed in past lives, I'd say I was a sailor, or someone who lived on some body of water.  My favorite body of water happens to be the Caribbean Sea...but I do also feel an affinity with Lake Michigan.  I'm lucky to have been born in the Winter, Water, Wonderland.  Michigan is one gorgeous state, I'm so happy to have had the change to grow up there and know it so well.

 I'll marry in June.  I'll marry my Grand Love, beside a body of water, surrounded by family and friends, what a lucky lady I am. 

This soul food centers me, makes me realize how little I am in the big scheme of things.  From the sound of the waves on the shore that soothe  me, to the warmth of the water and the beauty that lives beneath it...this soul food puts me at peace.   Bodies of water are a comfort soul food for people such as myself.

#5 ~ Bulldogs



I know, I know.  Some people (even Left Brain, who loves the boys) say they are an ugly dog.  A manmade dog with a myriad of health issues, but something about them makes me smile and laugh.  They are a happy little breed.  Slobbery, exuberant and pigheaded.  I love watching Left Brain with them.  They love him (and licking him) and he loves them (sans the licking).  To watch them play together makes my heart glow.  To watch them tug of war or to watch the little guy play keep away from the big guys....it's the stuff many laughs are made of.  Joy in something you just LOVE ... that's a late night, extra yummy snack type of soul food!

#6 ~ Laughter

I get my energy from others, I'm an extrovert.  When I took the Myers Briggs test at the library I worked at as part of a team building exercise, I got singled out because not only was I an extrovert, I was an off the charts extrovert.  Left Brain (that man o' mine) is always shaking his head at me.  If I'm not making a new friend, someone is making me a new friend.  I love this.  Imagine then what energy I get when laughing with other people.  It is to me what new batteries are to the Energizer bunny.  Laughter is party soul food.

Soul food...I hope anyone reading this has a day filled with it. 

I Think I Know Why I LOVE Bonsai!

For most of my life I can honestly say I've had a love, an affinity with bonsai trees.  I don't believe I ever saw the correlation between myself and bonsai like I do now.

It had nothing to do with Mr. Miyagi and Daniel-san.  While my boys loved that movie and I can still hear Aaron quoting the line, "Daniel Laruso is going to fight....DANIEL LARUSO IS GOING TO FIGHT!" or smile thinking of watching Seth standing on the ladder of the pool ready to jump in while doing that famous crane kick...no, that is not where my love of those trees came from.

When I was about 8 years old I began asking Mom and Dad for a bonsai tree.  I don't remember how or where I had seen one, but they fascinated me.  That such a piece of perfection could live in a little tray and yet look *in a different perspective* just like big trees, the symmetry, the harmony, just the physical beauty, astounded me.  Mom and Dad really had no idea what to do when I asked for one for Christmas, so off to the Sears Catalog they went. 

Christmas morning arrived and I tore into the package.  I was sorely disappointed.  In the box was some pine seed, dirt and a regular old pot.  Not at all what I expected and it would have taken a forever to get that seed to grow to anything.  That being said, my fervor to get a bonsai only grew.

Fast forward to my finding a lovely Chinese lady in Inkster, Michigan of all places (those of you familiar with Michigan and Inkster in particular will understand that comment) who owned a place called the Bonsai House.  Ohhhh, the trees I bought and killed from this dear lady, but boy did I learn.

I currently have 2 pretty bonsai's in my home and two that live at my office.  I look at them every day, I water them weekly and they thrive.  They thrive despite their circumstances.  They are planted in poor soil, they are bent and twisted, yet their leaves are glorious, their symmetry amazing.  They don't care what comes their way...as long as they get nourishment and love, they grow!

Recently I've been dealing with a lot of health issues.  Ugly things that scare me.  I've just found true happiness with a man that not only understands me (for the most part) but loves me despite my ugly parts. We have our own home and are building a beautiful  life.  One filled with growth and love.  One filled with sunshine and rain.  You need all of the above to live a full life!

Like a bonsai seedling, I've grown.  I went from that not so pretty plastic pot to a home where I am happy, comfortable in.  Despite the hardships that life has brought my way, I continue to grow.  Life keeps dishing out hardships that may bend me, that may twist me, but I know that I am growing gloriously.  The leaves of my life are bright and beautiful.  My symmetry and lines, though not what others get to be, are my own and beautiful in their own right.  I'm loved and that is the best kind of nourishments for bonsai such as myself.