Living alone was never a thought for me. I lived in the home of my father for 18 years, married and lived with a husband for 30-plus years and then to live with a friend until I moved in with Left Brain.
I guess it is not such an odd circumstance to find oneself in but I have to say I am not much a fan of it.
It's not so much that I'm a serial monogamist, I guess as an extrovert who gets their energy from others, I find it boring and have gotten tired of it quickly.
Left Brain has accepted a job back in Michigan, more noteably in my old hometown. He is there now while I stay at our home in the not-so-great state of Illinois, working and waiting to see how he does at this new venture. It would be foolish of me to sell our home and quit my job if for some unforseen reason this job didn't pan out.
This leaves me at our home with the three dogs (aka the boys, or the Generals; Sherman, Custer and Stonewall). They alone keep me from getting too much rest, they entertain me and are actually a type of family for me.
That being said ~
Left Brain being gone ...that's tough.
I miss his little (and not so little) quirks.
I miss:
- His constant need to know where the remote is. If it is lost, it as if the world has gone off its axis.
- The way he talks to the television during a sports crappola shows.
- How he locks every door and turns out every light the moment he is finished going through it or using it.
- "I'm old and infirmed." "I could eat." "Be that as it may." "They can pound sand."
- The way he brushes his teeth (this will make him laugh)
- The way he closes the slider blinds so hard I am surprised they are still attached
- The warmth of him in the bed beside me.
- Snuggling on the couch beside him
- Eating dinner and talking with him
- "You are the darling of my heart." "You are so beautiful to me." "I cannot get enough of you."
- His chest. Being held there makes my entire world better.
The day he left, I was a very brave woman. I smiled and reassured him. He was having trouble leaving me too. Two hours in, however, I was a basket case. I was sad beyond measure. I hurt with the lonlies for him.
It has now been three nights without him. I've found I can rig a queen size pillow beside me at night and keep his spare pillow near to have a pseudo Left Brain beside me at all times throughout the night. He calls to wake me each morning...the first thing I still hear each morning is "Good morning sweetheart, how did you sleep?" I talk to him thoroughout the day. In these things I know I am very lucky.
You see...it isn't that I'm so much all by myself for the first time, it is that I am sans Left Brain and that, my friends makes all the difference in the world.
Being alone, I could handle that I think. I'd be out with friends, I'd take up hobbies. Being without Left Brain means part of me, I think the best part, is missing.
On that note....GUESS WHO IS HOME THIS WEEKEND? Let the smilefest begin!
